My plumber asked me why the the electric meter looks new:

Funny story, that. A few months ago the electric company called me:

Them: “We went out to read your meter and it wasn’t there. We think somebody stole it.”

Me: “Really?”

Them: “Yep. You need to go inside and turn off the main breaker before we can replace it.”

Me: “Do you mean the thief could have gotten electrocuted?”

Them: “Yep.”